Here is a sample letter template:
I am writing this letter to you today to express exactly how I feel about your drinking (or drug use). Our conversations have led to promises made in the past and some very important ones have not been met. This is affecting my own personal health on a physical, mental and emotional level. Your drinking has also been devastating financially. Many days and nights are spent worrying if you are hurt or in the hospital or in jail. There have been times when I have feared for our my own safety because of the unpredictability of your lifestyle. I have chosen to seek professional help.
From watching TV, the news, and reading books, I know that we are not the only family who is going through this. I know that it is nothing that we have done wrong. We are willing to offer you one last chance at getting on your feet and becoming self supporting.
We have decided to offer you two choices:
1. Accept treatment at Sober Living by the Sea. I have done the homework on this and have decided that as a last effort to help you we are going to put you in a place where you will have every available opportunity to get on your feet and receive a great foundation for long-term recovery in a wonderful environment. You will be treated with dignity and respect and you will have the freedom to make choices. The team at Sober Living by the Sea is helping me to set healthy boundaries and detach with love. This will be hard for now but it is the best way for us to eventually reunite with a healthy new relationship. This is our my last gift to you, I hope you accept it and make every second count.
2. Your other choice is for me to stop enabling your addiction by changing my number and refusing to house you or support your addiction in any manner. If you chose not to help yourself, then I am going to take steps to do the most healthy thing possible given the situation. I am prepared to protect myself and if need be I will file proper paperwork (restraining order) to assure that I am no longer dragged into the vicious cycle that has plagued us. I have arrived at the point where I would rather see you in jail than enable you to continue hurting yourself. You will not receive any financial support from me – unless you choose to help yourself by accepting treatment.
(your name here)
At Sober Living by the Sea we teach families that the insanity of the alcoholic or drug addict is not the crazy things they do when they are drunk or high, the insanity of the alcoholic or the drug addict is doing the same thing over and over again – and expecting a different result. This applies to the family and loved ones as well.
Sober Living by the Sea has a team of intake counselors who are expecting a call from you or your loved one(s), and are prepared to answer your questions and help you start the road to recovery. The road to recovery can begin as soon as someone has the courage to pick up the phone and call Sober Living by the Sea.