Food For Thought about the Sponsor and Sponsee Relationship in Recovery

Our Staff Member Kelly K Asks: How Would You Treat Your Sick Baby?

When I  am working with the men and women in treatment at our facility, I keep the attitude that the men and women are patients with an illness. The great news is that there is a treatment solution that gives people a chance at learning to live (and love) a new way of life - sobriety. 

Those of us who are in recovery and active in the support system of AA, NA, CA, or any other 12-step program may have noticed that the sponsors refer to their sponsees as "babies."  This curious choice may be more significant than just a caring nickname. 

The fact is,  that many people who attempt sobriety can experience child like emotions:

• instant anger
• exaggerated love
• exaggerated hate
• unnecessary fear
  

However, merely staying sober  doesn't necessarily make the emotions go away or make the person mature.  The 12 Step program of recovery taught in Alcoholics Anonymous (and many other "anonymous" support systems) are designed to help a person grow mentally as well as spiritually.  If you are not merely staying sober and not working the steps of recovery and "practicing the principles in all your affairs," then you risk suffering these types of emotional setbacks and a lack of growth.

Saying "NO" And Practicing Healthy Boundaries

A healthy parent know s answer to there child may not always be "yes." The word "no" can be said in a way that  comes across as patient, tolerant, and caring.  This can be one of the most important words in the relationship that needs healing through treatment and recovery.  (read more information about advice to the families()

I have a sponsor in my recovery who helps me work the steps of recovery.  I wake up with a set ritual known as "morning meditation" which includes a set of prayers.  Then, I am fortunate enough to get to work with "newcomers" to sobriety.  

Recently, I had an experience that surprisingly reminded me that my path of recovery was a spiritually sound path - we call these moments "God shots" in our community.

I was driving a couple of the clients of our facility to the store the other day and the conversation turned to sponsorship, one of them asked me if I was sponsoring any guys at the moment.

Sad and somewhat embarrassed I answered "no." Then, one of the clients in the back seat who had been in our treatment center for months chimed in and said, "Yeah you do, in a way you are like a sponsor to all of us."

That was music to my ears – because a lot of times we feel like those who are earlier in the path of recover are like our babies.

If you have any opinions about this, I would love to hear about them.

-  Kelly K.