What to Say to a Loved One Who Is Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol

That is why our team is trained to screen for and deal with any types of behavioral problems (and also why we are a top facility for the treatment of Dual Diagnosis in California.

However, until someone who is in need of treatment can reach out and accept our help, there is little that we can do. That is why we recommend that you contact us immediately if someone you love is in need of treatment for drug or alcohol addiction. We can help with an assessment, and put you in touch with someone who will assist in starting the conversation. Drug addiction and alcoholism can have grave repercussions, and there is little anybody can do once severe damage is done to a person's life. We are glad that you care enough to read this page and are contemplating taking action to save the life of someone you love. We know the one you care for may be in denial and full of reasons not to go to treatment (like not having the time or finances to commit to treatment). For this reason, we have created a special web page about the costs of not going to treatment.

Consult an Addictions Professional about Your Loved One Who Is Chemically Dependent

A great first step is to get in touch with an addictions professional, and you can do this by contacting us. We have a network of addictions experts that extends far beyond our Southern California location. We will be able to assist you in finding a counselor, physician, psychiatrist, or interventionist that is trusted and reputable.

When you talk with the addictions specialist, it will be helpful to compile information like:

• What kind of drugs your loved one is taking
• The quantity of drugs the person is taking (if possible)
• A list of doctors the person is seeing
• A brief life history outlining social, cultural, and religious background

Also, make a note of important landmark events (like the ending of a romantic relationship, or the loss of a loved one) that might correlate to the beginning of alcoholic drinking or drug abuse.

Approach Your Loved One in a Caring and Supportive Manner

It is time to prepare your script telling your loved one that you are worried about their drug or alcohol abuse. It is recommended that you practice this process with others who care about the individual whose life is endangered by the use alcohol or drugs. It may be helpful to have brochures about recovery options or the dangers of drug addiction and alcoholism on hand for this conversation. You can contact us for this type of literature.

A good plan is to arrange what you are going to tell the addicted individual in this order:

• Express that you care about them.
• Bring up a specific time that their alcohol or drug use has worried you.
• Offer to take the next step (e.g., drive them to the doctor or make an appointment).
• Listen to their response and be attentive to what they say; listen to them fully, and be supportive if the person is agreeable to getting help.

Here are some recommended guidelines to follow:

Getting an Interventionist or Physician Involved

One common, formalized method of helping someone who has an addiction problem is called an intervention. An intervention can be conducted by one or more people who know the person well. Here at Sober Living by the Sea, we can assist you in contacting a reputable and trusted professional interventionist. An interventionist will help organize the process of documenting the negative consequences of your loved one's substance abuse and practicing how to share observations and feelings in a loving, nonjudgmental way. A professional interventionist is trained in moderating the intervention itself, during which you will share this information and ask the person to seek treatment.

Another option is to reach out to your loved one's doctor, who should be willing to approach the subject with their addicted patient. It may be wise to have an old friend approach your loved one as well.

Remember the Goal - Starting Toward Recovery

The goal is not necessarily to stop using immediately after the conversation. Many men and women who are abusing alcohol or drugs can be distressed or overwhelmed at the prospect of being cut off from their drug of choice immediately and entering a drug rehab facility.

The goal is for your loved one to acknowledge that their use is not safe and needs to be addressed. You want your loved one who is physically and mentally addicted to drugs or alcohol to realize that you care about them and that help is available.

Here in California at Sober Living by the Sea's treatment program, we have numerous resources at our disposal to help you, including information about treatment programs nationwide and all over the world. Contact us for information about drug detoxification services that will help your loved one detox from the chemical substances they are addicted to as comfortably as possible. We can also help you find 12-Step recovery groups in your area (not only for your loved one, but also for you - who might benefit from the support that the recovery community has to offer).

The Reaction Might Not Be Pleasant

Your loved one may react with anger, denial, or helplessness. Their helplessness may take the form of resignation that they are too addicted to change, or perhaps they simply do not have the willpower or desire to stop abusing drugs or alcohol.

If your loved one isn't ready for help, then it may be time to drop the subject temporarily and plan for the next discussion. Contact us for an addictionologist or interventionist in your area.

Do not be discouraged. You have laid the foundation for future conversations. It is very rare that a person responds favorably the first time they are confronted about abusing drugs or alcohol.

Taking Care of Yourself Is a Top Priority

Caring for a loved one who is abusing alcohol or drugs can be a devastating and heartbreaking experience. You can best help them to recover from their addiction in the long run if you are taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Be sure to discuss the issue with support groups (like Al Anon) and physicians or professional counselors, and heed their advice about coping with the pain of seeing a loved one slip into chemical dependency.

Here is another article about What to Do if Your Wife or Husband Is Becoming and Alcoholic or a Drug Addict.