On Wednesday, August 18, residents and staff members of our rehab centers were treated to a presentation by Mark Patey, an accomplished entrepreneur, television personality, writer and someone who struggles daily with ADD, the abbreviation most recognized as Attention Deficit Disorder, but something Mark would rather view as "Always Doing it Differently." 
Recently rated as one of the top presenters and trainers in the country, Mark donated his time to speak with the staff and clients of SLBTS and Echo Malibu to share with them his stories of overcoming the stigma of a learning/behavioral disorder and achieving great success. Armed with the knowledge that a large percentage of addicted individuals also have ADD, Mark talked about accepting this label as a positive attribute, not something to hide. He mentioned the numerous successes he has had in his life, beginning with a start-up company he founded with his twin brother at the age of 17, and going on to start and sell additional companies.
Mark's son also has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and Mark told of his son being put on medication at the urging of the school. Mark quickly noticed the boy's spark was missing, his creativity stifled. Mark said sadly, "He was normal." He regarded his son's "deficit" as a true gift akin to his own.
Mark acknowledged that to be successful, someone like him must always have an "equal opposite" to handle the organization and detail aspects of his businesses. Mark sees himself as the more creative side of the business, poking fun at his tendency to get sidetracked and come up with new ideas to "ooh, something shiny!"
Mark is most well-known for his motivational and sales/marketing speaking work, but his easy style and ability to make simple points with dramatic stories put him at ease with this audience of men and women in recovery. An accomplished pilot, at one point Mark told the story of overhearing an entire Mayday! situation play out over the radio frequency during harsh weather. Mark told the captivated audience that there was a question commonly asked by the FAA during such situations: "How many souls on-board?" He then went on to use it as an analogy of how many souls were "on-board" with these individuals while they were using drugs or drinking, and asked if they were willing to take them down with them.
"We were thrilled to have Mark speak to our residents," said Karen. "His life story and speaking style really worked well to engage the audience and drive home key points. I'm glad we got to bring two Southern California CRC programs together for such a wonderful event!"
In honor of National Recovery Month, Sober Living by the Sea Executive Director Kathy Sylvia addressed the entire staff and thanked them for their service and dedication to the treatment of addiction.
Kathy encouraged each and every member of the staff to spend the month of September thanking each other as well and appreciating the team effort that is employed by Sober Living by the Sea.
The Sober Living by the Sea staff then went outside to let go of one symbolic balloon to commemorate the event. To conclude the ceremony, Kathy led the staff in the Serenity Prayer. 
It was a truly inspiring display of sincere appreciation for the program of recovery that has helped so many. The staff at Sober Living by the Sea takes pride in their mission to help men and women learn to truly live life sober.
For more information about National Recovery Month, visit http://www.recoverymonth.gov.
We've spent a lot of time on this blog going over and over again the phenomenon of prescription drug abuse and how it leads to:
a) heroin addiction (when the expensive prescription meds become too hard to get)
b) drug overdose (from prescription drugs or from heroin)
Our facility and many other excellent watchdog entities (like StopOxy.com) are trying to sound the alarm about prescription drugs.
Today, August 31st 2010 is International Overdose Awareness Day. This is a day of awareness that was spearheaded by the Salvation Army. 
Today please take a moment to contemplate the devastating effect that overdoses have had on people you may have known (or even yourself). Think about people like Len Bias, Jimi Hendrix, Heath Ledger, and John Belushi for whom a drug overdose ended the lives of those who had so much potential. The list can go on... ad infinitum.
I am thinking now of some of the men and women who I've met and lost in this journey of recovery. I encourage you to do the same. Please feel free to leave a comment about it.
Well hindsight is 20/20 and lessons in life can sure be expensive even though my intentions and my family's were good. See, when my father first realized I had an alcohol and a drug problem after my first DUI, he played the part of the "good father" and spent plenty of money at the problem. My father investigated the best possible treatment for me. My father arranged to have an addictionologist examine me and had many other doctors and nurses see to my physical needs. I was deemed to be "healthy" in a short time. My lawyer and my doctor went to court for me and they were able to get me off with no jail time.
I was eager to get on with my life. I felt like those darn doctors tried to put a monkey wrench in my plans. Being 16 years old it was obvious to me that the doctors had mis-diagnosed me. They recommended that I go to an extended care treatment program.
I could see that my father was considering the treatment that had been recommended to me. Being the survivor that I am, I threw one of the most amazing temper tantrums I could throw and it worked - as long as I promised to get it together. That was one of many lies I would tell.
Looking back it is amazing that I would give a car mechanic more respect than doctors that had spent so many years specializing in addiction. We paid those doctors tens of thousands of dollars for their care and recommendations and then totally disregarded everything they were saying. I now can see, it was insane. I was determined to do life my way. Of course, hindsight is 20/20
I can see now that they were trying to get in the way of me self medicating. Oblivion worked for a long time although the wreckage was astronomical.
When I was 12 or 13 my father had me put in an adolescent ward for behavioral reasons (drinking and smoking pot). I know I did not like that because I ran away 3 times. My dad's chauffer AJ would find me or I would call and AJ would come and pick me up every time.
So when they asked me to go to long term treatment, I was simply not having it. I was still young enough and I knew that my dad "loved me enough" (he was in denial as well) that he would give me another chance. By the time I was 17, I had been to 2 different treatment centers and had been kicked out of 5 different private schools. My dad loved me and believed that I could change. My brothers and sisters were doing well in life. He did not know I had my mother's genes. She died of alcoholism when I was 5. She had 4 beautiful kids, plenty of money in the bank, a house that was paid for, a maid, and a gardner, I know now she did not sit in her room and drink herself to death on purpose. She had untreated alcoholism – and the means to drink around the clock, it was only a matter of time. Looking back now I fully understand.
And there I was a raging alcoholic at 17 years old and my family of enablers to help me get my next drink or drug that also blew off the doctors recommendations with the hope I would magically get better. I really meant the things I said. And each time I really felt all I needed was one more chance, I swore I would be good.
I have experienced enough that if you understood what I had been through, l think it would save you from every form of denial and experimentation.
In years past, I would get in enough trouble and I would agree to go to treatment again. In the 80’s the selections for treatment were much fewer than they are now. In a lot of cases treatment was more expensive as well. Several treatment episodes cost my family $30,000 for a 30 day stay. Extended care programs were nowhere to be found and halfway houses were for parolees or at least I thought.
All the while my father and I were trying geographical cures. Sometimes my Father would buy me a condo and see that I was set up with a car and money. The plan was always to get a job or go back to school. The problem was that "wherever I went, there I was." In a short time, I would get arrested or have other reasons to leave that city pronto and he kept enabling me.
For a lot of years I knew he would pay me – just not to come home. So, as I was "on the road" my choices for recovery began to cost less and less. I guess I thought I was saving him money, I would make deals with my father and a lot of them I really meant. My problem was I had a serious untreated disease called addiction, the only disease that tricks you into thinking you don't have the disease.
As I got older I would attempt the extended cares and recovery homes, rarely making it more then a few weeks. One time I made it 6 months sober - I was not working a program though. I was gambling and eventually got drunk again, I spent time in Europe and Africa drunk. There is a paragraph in the Alcoholics Anonymous book that read – “ Half measures availed us nothing” and that is what my life was a series of - half measures.
I was always calling the shots and running the show. I was always convincing my loved ones that "this time it would be different." It never was though, eventually my father died and at the time I was 10 months sober. We had not talked in months. I went to the viewing in Newport R.I. and then flew back to California where in a short time I lost it and began a series of bottoms that were horrendous - each one lower and more devastating then the rest. My step mother and older brother and my father's partner made sure I was left out of my father's will. They tricked me into signing off when I was homeless. Their addictions do not involve alcohol or drugs. There are other kinds of addictions - power, property and prestige. By taking advantage of me when I was homeless they helped open the final door that led to my new life: Happy, Joyous and Free
Turning My Life Around
Hindsight being 20/20 I now realize that my father helped me most when he died. Because in my case – he had to die in order for me to start growing up.
I began frequenting local indigent detoxes. There, my perception of the world slowly but surely changed. These people were helping me, and lord knows not for the money (there was none). I can assure you that it was not for any wisdom or great character or pleasant attitude I had.
I was a spoiled rotten homeless guy with a really bad attitude, and I did not get sober and live happily ever after. I still had to go out and relapse and go to jail. For several more years though the people in the detoxes kept taking me back and cleaning me up and feeding me. They gave me clothes to wear and rides to meetings. Slowly but surely I was forming my own identity. And my perception was changing...
On October 4th 2003 I was arrested I pray for the last time, I still do not talk to my family
Slowly but surely I have obtained a new family through work, meetings, and sponsorship. I have a sponsor today I speak to almost daily. I am redoing the steps with him and am currently on step 8. My life is still filled with challenges, I do not call them problems – and if they are, they are quality problems. My house that my wife and I bought 5 years ago is in foreclosure, and my soon to be ex-wife now lives in Canada. I live with my 3 dogs and my cat. I work 40hrs plus a week at Sober Living by the Sea. I have a couple thousand dollars in the bank, and get scared at times until I remember how blessed I truly am.
In the almost 7 years of sobriety there have been over 1000 incidents that normally I would drink or use drugs over. Now everything is just kind of rolling off my back ( I have bad moments – I do not have bad days). I suit up and show up and take the next indicated steps. I know very little and my happiness is not gauged by money – cool cars or the such. What I really enjoy most is helping people. There is nothing sweeter than to see a young man or woman (or even a old man or old woman say),
"Wow, I think I can do this deal." I have learned not to get too excited, but as a matter fact, I know you can - if you're ready to surrender and get into action.
I guess the moral to this story is, when your paying a doctor thousands of dollars to give you advice, I suggest you take it, even if it does not make sense. It might save you 25 years of heart ache and countless headaches for everyone that comes near you.
If I only knew then what I knew now, I sure could have saved everyone especially myself a lot of heart ache and pain.
Better late then never I suppose, I really did not plan on being a alcoholic and drug addict. I feel kind of foolish now, because for a lot of years (over 20), I tried every which way to reserve my right to drink and drug.
I truly understand the words cunning, baffling, and powerful now, I tricked myself into believing it was bad luck or other peoples fault, I even had phantom pains or if they were real, they were probably withdrawal symptoms from either the alcohol or pills I sought.
As I sought lower companions to drink and drug with, even these guys and gals began to cut me loose. Each year as my quality of living became less and less, I told myself things were not so bad.
I remember one day after being called irresponsible by a homeless man, and thinking to myself, "maybe I am not as well as I think I am."
Well, it took me 20 years to get that far away from reality – and then I was blessed with a moment of clarity. Sad thing was – now I knew I was an alcoholic and addict, it was clear.
I then began a 10 year argument with myself, the police, my family, and different treatment facilities. I was busy explaining why my case was different.
It was not until 10 years later - on the other side of the country, when I had my second moment of clarity, right after being called irresponsible again by another completely different homeless man.
I realized 3 things now that allowed me to start the recovery process after 38 years
1) I am an alcoholic and drug addict
2) My case is not much different then anyone else
3) Recovery may take a while
- Kelly K.
Healthy Communication
Transparency is new coined buzz word today, but just because things are transparent - does that mean that they are healthy?
A lot of people's actions and communication are still driven by "love" or "fear." 
What is your structure made of – is it truly transparent or is it glass?
One of the results of the 12 steps is to alleviate all fear and replace it with faith. If I am to "practice the principles in all my affairs" then I can perhaps one day be transparent and loving.
The truth is neither good nor bad – the truth just is. Relationships and structures – with healthy transparency are based on the truth.
Healthy transparency is not only me being able to see you and you being able to see me,
Healthy transparency is a relation, bond or alliance, that is built on truths and facts and clarity
It is an understanding based on love and not fear. You can not just see me, you would know what it is like to be me and vice versa – we share common solutions and have experienced common problems.
There is nothing to hide because we have no fear, there is no fear of the past and no fear of the future.
In a transparent world there are only two descriptions of time, there is "now" and there is "not now."
In a transparent world we will not run around wasting energy foolishly wondering if our present is consistent with our past or will the decisions we make today affect our future.
Because we deal with things out of love.
That is our best investment for the future, we are no longer powerless, we have new power.
It is called Love.
- Kelly K
When I was 16 years old I had the privilege of going to one of the finest drug rehabs in the country and the two things I 
remember most was a Dr. speaking to me on two different occasions.
On the first visit I remember trying to convince the doctor that the treatment program was only a attempt to brain wash me, and I will never forget what he said without skipping a beat, he said “ Son your brain needs washing” I did not get it at the time.
On the second visit, I remember that at the end of my 28 day stay, there I was with the Doctor again and he was explaining to my father that his suggestion was that I go to long term treatment. (Today it is called extended care). Well, I would hate to try and defend the reason why I did not go now. But to make a long story short, I spent the next 22 years trying to prove that doctor wrong. I had great enablers and I was a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is "sweet as pie" for stints of time and then whamo – Mr. Hyde would appear and pull all the structures down again. What a vicious circle it was. Though through the years as my "dis-ease" progressed, Mr. Hyde came much more frequently. Eventually, Dr. Jekyll was hardly ever seen.
22 years later I was at a point in my life where I certainly didn’t trust myself or a word I said. Suggestions from the doctor came back to me; it was a moment of clarity. By then I had been reading the book of Alcoholics Anonymous for several years and a couple paragraphs jumped out at me as if I had never read them at all.
The great fact is for reasons yet obscure we had lost the power in choice In drink. Our so called will power had become practically none existent. We were unable at certain times to bring into consciousness with sufficient force the memory and the suffering and the humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without a defense against the first drink.
The second part was:
What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration will gradually become a working part of the mind.
It finally dawned on me was that I was a serious alcoholic and I needed a defense against the next drink and it would gradually become a working part of the mind.
That was almost seven years ago. For over six years I have been working in treatment at Sober Living by the Sea.
I had been a patient or client my whole life ... who would of ever thought I would be working in a treatment center.
Mr. Hyde is sober now he pops in from time to time – though he knows he is not really wanted around here – at least until his attitude changes.
It took a quite a while – but I finally have a defense – feels like I may of gotten a much needed brain washing too.
Sober Living By The Sea has been in business since 1986. Through the years, very few things have changed as far as the "magic recipe" for the perfect treatment setting. All that is needed is to "just add clients" and a little consistent direction.
Social model recovery communities are not new to the treatment world, and are proven to be very successful. In a hospital or "closed" treatment setting, the clients go for 30 days. And then they leave the facility to re-enter the "real world."
What separates our treatment facilities from the others is the perfect combination of:
- setting
- community
- strong clinical support
- clients in treatment and alumni support
In our recovery community, clients not only make up the program, they are a critical part of the therapeutic process. Clients stay here longer and form bonds. Clients come in with a 100 forms of fear and self delusion and learn that by learning from others with more recovery time and working with those who are new to recovery that lasting change can be achieved.
Having experienced the incomprehensible demoralization of addiction is one of the are the ties that bonds us. Many of us also have issues and fears we need to work through. Some of the issues we must face in our recovery include:
- social anxiety disorder
- negative body image
- lacking in life skills (ie shopping, chores, hygiene, job skills)
- dating (relating to the opposite sex)
- 12-step meeting etiquette
- finding a sponsor
- eating disorders and cross addictions
- legal issues
- grief and loss
- developing trust and genuine friendships.
- legal issues
- grieving issues
- issues with low self esteem
Developing healthy routines take time. Treatment takes time. Relapse does not have to happen, though sometimes it does and it can actually be therapeutic if processed correctly. It is better for someone new to recovery to relapse in a controlled environment like our treatment community than at home on their own after a short stint in a "closed treatment environment."
We not only have an alcohol and drug problem we have "living problems." This is what Sober Living by the Sea stumbled upon many years ago - teaching people how to "live." Our treatment community is a perfect setting to allow people to grow in that first crucial year of sobriety. Many of the skills that people need for a lasting and happy sobriety are learned. and many of these things they learn by mirror image from each other.
Sober Living by the Sea is a safe haven. The crime rate is extremely low in the 2 mile community along the Pacific Ocean here in Newport Beach. The majority of our clients in our Beachside Extended Care Program ride beach cruisers to meetings, the store, the beac, to work, or to school.
This perfect combination of location and treatment programming is a wonderful thing for people who need help. As each year goes by, more and more people's sobriety reveals the success this model. There is no reason to try and reinvent the wheel. We just strive to remember what the fundamental ingredients are.
- Kelly K.
Lady Gaga recently made headlines on SFGate.com (an online division of the San Francisco Chronicle) saying she still takes cocaine once in a while. The article was titled: “Lady Gaga’s claim: Can you be an “occasional” cocaine user?” In this article, the controversial pop icon takes on yet another controversial issue—habitual cocaine use.
President Obama recently signed into law a monumental bill to “equalize” prison sentences for those serving terms for cocaine-related offenses. This law is intended to make prison sentences equal on both the federal and state levels. 
According to recent news reports, scientists have taken strong stances on the topic of occasional drug use with differing opinions. While Lady Gaga admits that she takes cocaine "once in a while," she doesn’t want her fans to follow in her footsteps.
Many drugs, both prescription and illegal, are okay if used occasionally and responsibly. Some drugs can be beneficial. Prescriptions drugs have been more deadly than illegal drugs in recent years. The danger of prescription drugs is exacerbated by the fact that doctors prescribe medications so readily making the substances easy to get a hold of.
Depending on the drug, there are those who may argue both sides of the issue. For instance, many scientists claim that the use of medical marijuana may prove beneficial for those suffering from serious illnesses.
Can Addictive Drugs Be Used Occasionally?
The question remains: Is it okay to take cocaine on occasion? To be sure, our stance is an emphatic “no.” However, that is mainly because of the potential for addiction to gradually develop in the casual user of cocaine. For many users, it is something that is an occasional experiment. It should be noted that cocaine can cause fatality upon any use.
Of course, there may actually be some benefits to taking certain drugs, if taken responsibly. This is especially true in the case of prescription drugs.
Take the drug, Klonopin, for example. The benzodiazepine that debuted in the 1980s, has been used recreationally by some and has potentially fatal effects. But Klonopin also has many beneficial effects that treat many preexisting conditions. This controversial drug is used for seizure control, insomnia, and anxiety, Many people take Klonopin on a regular basis and experience no bad side effects.
Of course there are also many people who will buy Klonopin to feel "high." Many doctors are leery of prescribing Klonopin because of the potential for abuse factor. There is an ongoing search for alternative medications that are less addictive but remedy the symptoms that drugs like Klonopin help with (ie anxiety and insomnia). There is a new anti-psychotic drug called Trazodone that doctors believe to be a “safer” alternative to some other dangerous prescription drugs.
Addictive Street Drugs Should be Avoided
Cocaine has ruined many lives. Cocaine is a dangerous drug. But of course, almost every drug can have disastrous effects if taken in huge quantities. Unfortunately, for many, the jury’s still out on the occasional drug use issue. Statements like those made by Lady Gaga will fuel the debate into the future.
We have been fortunate enough to have Lisa Modiri and Jay Rau enhancing our client’s treatment by exposing them to fun Native American activities like drumming.
A very interesting article called Drumming Out Drugs was recently published in the American Journal of Public Health. This article chronicled one man’s (Michael Winkelman) experience and study observing and participating in drum circles in recovery.
Michael's research bears out that drumming enhances relaxation and causes pleasurable experiences. Drumming also reduces isolation, alienation, self obsession, and selfishness. Drumming also assists with the processing of traumatic events. There are also numerous positive effects on brain activity that Winkelman writes about that use some pretty scientific terminology like "theta wave production, brain waive synchronization, and enhanced awareness of pre-conscious dynamics.” 
Sober Living by the Sea is not alone in our use of drumming as part of the recovery process. The research that Michael did was conducted at numerous other recovery centers and communities (most notably Caron Foundation). He learned about many aspects of the drumming culture and how it relates to recovery.
- Younger men and women in treatment who can be defiant and confrontational responded well to drumming as an activity.
- Drumming is new to many participants and gives them a sense of accomplishment when the “problem solve” the learning of new patterns
- Different members of the drum circle play patterns that synchronize with others’ patterns which leads to a sense of teamwork and group accomplishment
- Drumming increases motor skills
- Drumming increases attention span
- Drummers can report a “change of consciousness” that leads to a greater sense of self awareness
- Drummers report a spiritual effect of the process that contributes to a sense of spiritual connectedness
Conflict With Other Modalities?
Also interesting is Winkelman’s documentation of Daniel Smith’s “uneasy acceptance” among traditional psychiatric practitioners.
During close ongoing monitoring of the reception that drumming has received at our facility, it has not been met with a backlash.
Drumming is a voluntary activity (most clients will be exposed to at least one drumming session but active participation is optional) and does not contain any aspects that conflict with the core foundation of treatment at Sober Living by the Sea:
- Traditional psychological processes
- 12-step principles
- The best experiential and alternative therapies
The Value of Empowering Activities
Drumming is but one of many activities that our clients participate in during treatment. The activities our clients take part in play a crucial role in the success of Sober Living by the Sea’s various programs. Outdoor activities under the sun build strength and fellowship. Some (like the Getty Center Museum and Laguna Beach Sawdust Festival) are culturally enriching as well. Some of the activities are just plain fun (Disneyland, Bowling). For more information about the activities, visit our activities page.
If you enjoyed this article then you may be interested in such others as:
Journeying – A Shaman’s Meditation Technique
Vision Quest – A Quest for Serenity
Drum Circle Activity at Learning Light Foundation
Pow Wow Trip - A Fun Activity in Recovery
Talking Circle Comes to Sober Living by the Sea.
Like it or not, there is no denying that America learns “what's hot” from celebrities and follows in their footsteps.
Unfortunately, we don't just learn about the trivial stuff from them. We also learn about the bad stuff as well. How many people had ever heard of the SCRAM alcohol monitoring bracelet before Lindsey Lohan was forced to wear one? America had, but that was just because actor/comedian Tracy Morgan was forced to wear one before her.
Or going further back, we learned that a “Speedball” was a mix of Heroin and Cocaine, because that's what caused John Belushi's overdose, and then reappeared again when Chris Farley and River Pheonix both overdosed on the same deadly mix.
It’s amazing how quickly a drug can go from being totally underground to immediately part of the American lexicon just because a celebrity was caught using it. The newest addition to this infamous list of celebrities who have introduced the mainstream to a new drug is former NFL number one draft pick JaMarcus Russell.
JaMarcus was arrested in Alabama on June 5, 2010 for possession of a controlled substance. The controlled substance in question, (and will forever be associated with him), is a Promethazine/Codeine Syrup based concoction known in slang as Purple Drank . Other street names for it include:
Already, a search for any of these street names will bring hundreds of sites with people requesting and receiving a variety of recipes and dosages. There are so many different recipes in fact that it is difficult to really determine what was in the Purple Drank Russell was arrested for possessing. But the issue isn’t really what he was taking exactly, but the fact that curiosity has been piqued. Young people all across America are asking themselves, “What is Sip Sip? What is Purple Drank? Where do I get it? How do I make it?”
So what will they be experimenting with? The general consensus is that the Purple Drank is a mixture of the by prescription cough suppressant Promethazine/Codeine Syrup and some kind of soda, like Sprite or 7-up. In addition, most often there is hard alcohol added, like vodka or gin, and sometimes a Jolly Rancher candy is added.
This means there is one more prescription medication in parents’ medicine cabinets that their children might be hoping to find. And as with any prescription medication that is abused, often the user will think that because it is a prescription medication, that it is less dangerous than other, street manufactured drugs. Of course this is not the case, as prescription medications can be equally as deadly as any other illicit drug. Promethazine/Codeine Syrup in high doses can have all sorts of negative reactions, including allergic reactions, unconsciousness, and difficulty breathing. If the user mixes alcohol or any other medication (as many of the recipes say to do), then the user is in even greater danger of potentially lethal side effects, let alone addiction.
If you are concerned about your teen using drugs, call our facility for a private conversation with a professional intake counselor. You may also be interested in these articles:
Advice to the Family of an Addict or Alcoholic
What to Do if your Husband or Wife is Abusing Drugs
The first step (and sometimes the greatest hurdle) in overcoming an addiction is admitting that you have a problem. Usually, by the time this is accomplished, the person is ready for change and the treatment of the addiction becomes easier.
When a man or woman is really ready to change, he or she will agree to receive addiction treatment at a program like ours. Here are just a few thoughts about things that indicate that addiction treatment will really work for the long haul:
• The effort must be continuous and conscious: Going to a treatment center is just the first tiny step towards overcoming an addiction. However, for the process to really work, you need to make a conscious effort to accept the guidance of those who can help you. It might seem counter intuitive at times but the key is to trust the process.
• There must be adequate external support: It’s very difficult to overcome addictive behaviors without a support system. Without adequate external support from family members and loved ones, there is a high risk that you’re going to relapse and go back to your old ways. It is helpful to involve close friends and/or family members to support you through the rehab and the recovery process. Your support system must be patient yet firm with you, and they should be willing to learn about the process of recovery and how they can be a positive influence (through a program like Al Anon). The presence and support of family members and loved ones matters a great deal during the initial few days when you’ve finished residential treatment and have returned home to the family system from where you came.
• The desire to overcome the addiction should be sincere and overwhelming: Unless the need to overcome the addiction is all-pervasive, you’re not going to make much of an effort to get rid of the habit that is dragging you down. It is possible you can find motivation from the fact that your health has been affected to a dangerous degree. For some people, they've made a promise to a loved one and that they want to keep it at all costs. Some people have hit a "bottom" where they've lost all their money, their job, and their reputation. This can be very motivating as well. Whatever the reason, it must drive and push you to clean up your act for good.
If you’ve been through an addiction, you know what the tunnel feels like – you despair of ever seeing the light at the end of it because you seem to be slipping two steps behind for every single step you take forward. But if you just hold on to your resolve and plod steadily ahead, the going gets easier with time, and you’re soon out of the darkness and into the light.
- Susan white
This article is contributed by Susan White, who regularly writes on the subject of rad tech schools. She invites your questions, comments at her email address: susan.white33@gmail.com.
It was a magical night of not just sobriety but serenity and healing.
Lisa and I introduced a handful of our clients to a Djembe drum circle at the Learning Light Foundation.
The group of clients that came with us were already attending our Saturday morning Drumming and Meditation Group and wanted more = So we gave it to them! (and they loved it).
More Than Just Drumming
Drumming groups are so much more than just beating on a drum. Drum circles are ancient healing ceremonies that have been going on for thousands of years. A hollow log and a stick was the first ipod.
The group was automatically comfortable with the other drummers and the sacred space where we gathered. It is a space where you can let the soul free and express yourself without judgment. Most of the girls who came with us took an interest in the " healing space" in the center which was full of crystals and medicine cards.
The participants would gather around and start the ceremony using drums and rattles.
Lisa and I got a lot of positive feedback from the drum circle. One client expressed that it was the coolest thing she had ever done. Another client said that it was life changing. Another said that she did not want to leave.
I hope to continue attending this group every first Friday of the month and find other drum circles as well.
- Jay Rau
Visit their website to learn more about the Learning Light Foundation.
Sober Living by the Sea has always used activities to build momentum in recovery. In Newport Beach, there are many things to do that provide inspiration and a break from the therapeutic processes that encompass the treatment program.
One new addition to the activities is the participation in the Knots of Love knitting and crocheting programs. Knots of Love is an organization that brings knitted caps to cancer patients who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy treatments. Founded by Christine Shively in 2007, Knots of Love now donates over 3,000 knitted and crocheted caps monthly to cancer patients who appreciate feeling cared for and appreciate the alternative to an itchy wig.
On Tuesday, July 7th 2010 about twenty five clients and staff members pitched in to make knitted caps in the Tiki Room. The activity was enjoyed by men and women alike. While the social aspect of knitting put everyone in a good mood, the activity had a profound effect on some participants.
One girl (from the Extended Care Program) emotionally recounted learning how to knit from her grandmother who is now deceased. She contemplated the years gone by since those lessons and how she was a very young girl the last time she knitted - many years before the journey of her life led her to Sober Living by the Sea for treatment. In the treatment field, we know it is powerful to reconnect with childhood memories and activities - particularly those that brought joy before experimentation with drugs or alcohol began.
Overheard during the knitting session were the clients and staff talking as equals about the shared experience of life and recovery. Cancer is a disease which has touched the lives of almost everyone and several of the participants had seen a loved one succumb to cancer. There was occasional sadness peppered in among the good natured laughing but the process of talking and sharing during such an estimable activity left everyone glowing after. This was not “just another day in paradise,” but then again - it never is around here.
On June 12 we had a gentleman named David W. come do a Traditional Native American talking circle with the clients.
How a Talking Circle Works
Everyone sits in a circle and the conductor of the circle will generally sit in the East. A token, such as a feather or a 
special talking stick, is passed clockwise around the circle. As each person receives the token, they may speak for as long as they wish, including addressing a topic brought up by another in the circle. When they have finished, they pass the token along. If someone does not wish to speak, they simply pass the token. The token may go around several times. After everyone has had the opportunity to speak as many times, the conductor ends the circle.
The type of circle we had was based on the topic of the 3rd step. We all spoke of our belief or lack of in a higher power and acknowledged our strengths and weakness. We then set our intention to grow and heal where we were lacking. It was a very powerful ceremony.
3rd Step of AA: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives our to the care of God as we understood Him
David is probably the most humble man I have met on my spiritual path and also the most powerful. What does that say about humility? :-)
- Lisa M