Anger Management by Michael Maxey
When I first started looking at my anger, I realized I had no real concept of what anger was. I knew what it was to me. However, as a “rageaholic," I thought that this was a normal way of dealing with life situations.
WOW!! What I have learned.
First off, to manage something, I need to know what that something is. So, I found myself looking in the dictionary (the Webster’s third addition, unabridged, if it matters). There I learned that Anger is a noun. OK, person, place or thing. “Emotion.” Yes, that is a thing. Also says it implies “a loss of courage.” Not me. I fear no man. Oh yes, this is not a man, it is an emotion.
The dictionary also says Anger is a verb. OK, action. “To be afraid of something within ones self.” The nice thing about this is that it is only dictionary. There is still the 12-step communities’ definition. That, however is session one of the Anger Management education group. I do not want to spoil it for you.
So, what I came up with after some contemplation is that anger is “my internal reaction to an external stimulus.” Well, I guess that means that I need to change my reaction to people places and things. What that means to me is that I need to accept ownership of my role in my anger.
Here at Sober Living by the Sea, we recognize that Anger is an internal response to a lot of “things”. It is still however a personal reaction. If we can learn to change our own reaction, we can “manage our anger.”
Understand that there are other externals and internals that manifest our anger, but the bottom line is that I create my emotions based on my perceptions of my needs as they are or are not met by people places and things. Most of which I find are unrealistic. That is session two of our Anger Management education group. So, if you find yourself struggling with anger and have a desire to change your reactions, come join us and let’s work towards a program of action, not reaction.
Michael A. Maxey
Registered Addiction Specialist
