Be Positive, Open about My Weaknesses, and Listen by Christopher Smith

When a new client enters the treatment program at Sober Living by the Sea, he is very impressionable and is in a position to be influenced about recovery either positively or negatively.  As a staff member, I am given the privilege of being involved in this early stage of his decision making process.  It is my prayer that I always represent a program of “attraction rather than promotion”.  How do I go about doing this? 

Having gone through the treatment process myself, I believe that there are a few ways to do this. 

First of all, I never put the client down.  I Never make him feel like he is "less than" for being in treatment.  He might already have these kinds of feelings and I would not be doing anything but hurting him if I did this.  If I said things like, “your best thinking got you here”, then I would be reinforcing the negative things that he already believes about himself.  I don’t want to tear the client down anymore.  He does that enough on his own.  It is time to build him up, but we must build him up in a new direction.

Second, I must be open about my own weaknesses and my own faults.  It is easy for me to tell my story (what it used to be like), but I must also be open and honest about the things that I still struggle with.  What this does is it brings about a mutual trust with the client.  It shows them that I am not perfect and that I am still “trudging the road to happy destiny.”  No one wants to be under the authority of a saint or a "know-it-all" or someone that has all the answers.  If I can admit  that I have areas of weakness in my life, then I am in a much better place to be heard by the client and others in my life.

Third, I must listen.  At times this is so hard to do.  As a matter of a fact, this is probably one of my biggest weaknesses.  How can I help the client if I haven’t taken the time to really listen to what is going on?  This may mean taking the extra 30 minutes or longer to really take it all in, but isn’t that exactly why I am here and what I am paid to do?

In order to have the most impact on new clients and to make the journey to recovery an attractive one, I must

• be positive
•  be open about my weaknesses
  
•  listen to him. 
  

Nobody is perfect, and I am included in that.  When the new client comes in hurting and having lost hope, he wants someone who understands, someone who has been through what he has been through – not someone whose life is going perfectly.

God, as I encounter the newcomer, give me a humble attitude and kind, reassuring words to speak.  Help me to always have the time to spend with him as others have had time to spend with me.  May my words and actions be a positive influence in his life.  

- Christopher Smith