REAL RECOVERY With Gina F. - Pages 85-88 Part II

Read Part I of Pages 85-88 by Gina F.

Part II:

The Vital Sixth Sense

On the bottom of page 85 the book states that we have been given a lot of direction already and if we have been following that direction we have started to form a connection with our Higher Power. The Big Book also states that we are developing a vital sixth sense.

Again when we look at the words that the writers of the Big Book used I don’t believe that they were chosen lightly. The book calls it a vital sixth sense. Our connection with our Higher Power is “needed for the survival of our spiritual life. To maintain this vital connection we are then told that “we must go further and that means more action.

Sounds like work to me!

Changing Our Approach to Prayer

“Step Eleven suggest prayer and meditation. We shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works if we have the proper attitude and work at it.”

Pretty self explanatory but what is a “proper attitude” and what work are they talking about? The proper attitude is being able to pray unselfishly.

 For most of us, God has been a Santa Claus, we prayed only when we wanted something for ourselves. Or if we needed out of a particularly sticky situation. So the “work” becomes praying for other especially those people we don’t like or we have a resentment against, and praying constantly in good times and in bad. Prayer no longer is just first aid in a bad situation, but a constant communication between you and your Higher Power. The book goes on to say it has more suggestions on how to pray.

Daily Meditation Rituals

When we retire at night we constructively review our day. This is similar to the Tenth Step and the Twelfth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous which states that we:

..continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

 There are two schools of thought here: some say that you should be constantly taking your inventory throughout the day and making amends for any wrong doings. Another school of thought states that we write on a "Tenth Step" at night and make any amends the next day or as soon as possible.

It’s not important as to who is right, the important thing is that you are making amends for any harm you have done as soon as you realize it. In the beginning it may be good to write every night because you might begin to see a pattern in your behaviors, fears, dishonesty and resentments. Much will be revealed if you take the time to look back over it.

Okay so we constructively review our day. Where did we mess up?

Some things are easy to see: it is obvious to us when we are being dishonest or resentful; but do we always know when we are being selfish or afraid? These might come out as disguised emotions and actions.

We might think we are being kind and loving by doing something for someone else but are we really thinking to ourselves “what’s in this for me?”  That is selfishness... We need to check our motives.

Fear sometimes has a way of being masked by anger. Anger is a more socially acceptable emotion than fear so each night when we review our day we need to look at why we got angry, was it because something wasn’t going our way? Or were we afraid?

Anything that I was "holding on to,"  or that was churning in my stomach or that my head was making larger than life I had better start talking about... Once I was through talking I realized that I was making a bigger deal out of whatever it was and the other person didn’t see it that way at all. So we write it all down.

Whenever we can identify that we were “resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid” we ask in our nightly prays for forgiveness guidance as to what “corrective measure should be taken."  Some examples of "corrective measures" include:

• making amends
• walking through a fear
• paying someone back
• getting honest with ourselves, God and someone else if necessary

Then, the meditation goes on to say that we think about what we have planned for our day and ask God to direct our thinking so that we don’t run on our own self-will. Remember we are suppose to be trying to do God's will and be of service to someone else. Remember where our self will got us! Here! The book says our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when it is cleared of wrong motives. Wrong motives can be found when we're thinking "what’s in it for me" and if we are just thinking about ourselves.

Learning to Live this Life is a Process

We have to remember that most of us are new at this and that we are going to face indecision and not be sure what to do sometimes. The book tell us we need to relax and take it easy and the right answer will come. In the beginning we may need to run all ideas by a sponsor or someone with more sober experience to make sure we are on the right track  we do this and gain more sober experience it just becomes a working part of the mind or second nature if you will. Progress not perfection.

We conclude our meditation by saying a prayer the God will be with us throughout the day to guide us through those time of uncertainty. But we never pray for ourselves and wenever asking for anything selfishly or for something that would not benefit our around us. The Book says this is just a waste of time.

Getting the Support System Involved

If we can we ask our family to do morning mediation with us. Why would we do that? If everyone is meditating and asking God to relieve them of selfish motives and to be constantly thinking of others, it would lead to an awesome day!! Everyone would be going around wondering what they can do to make another person's day better and then doing it!!

The Book encourages us to practice our faith that we were raised with by participating in a formal morning mediation and morning service. If not a church member we are encouraged to memorize some prayers to help us reinforce the principals of the program. We are also encouraged to seek out “priest, minister or rabbi for guidance." The book states that we can learn much from religious people.

Being Thoughtful and Deliberate in our Decisions

 Here was another hard part for me:

“ As we go through the day we PAUSE when agitated and doubtful and ask for the right thought or action."

We don’t re-act anymore; we act. We act after careful consideration of all details. So before I bite your head off, I need to stop and look at the whole picture.

This saves me from having to go back and make an amends later on and feeling like crap until I do. The Book says we constantly remain ourselves; we are no longer running the show (but where we ever?)

Thy Will Be Done

The Book instructs us to humbly say to ourselves many time each day: “Thy will be done.”  That’s twice the book has emphasized that.  The Book  goes on to say that we are then in “much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry and self-pity."

Do you think there is a reason why excitement is first on the list? In my experience I have seem more people relapse when things are good and life is fine because they "think they got this thing licked." So they are excited that they have their life back, they let up on their program and in a short time they are drunk.

Also by saying “thy will be done” ( which is just the short version of the Third Step Prayer) we don’t get so tired because we are no longer hamsters on a wheel going no where. We now have a purpose: to do God's will and carry this message. We aren’t running around taking to make things happen our way any longer. Life just unfolds if we put the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous first and practice these principals in all of our affairs.

It Works

It works - it really does--- look around the rooms of AA.  Look at the staff here at our treatment center - most of us are not only are we sober but we are productive human beings in society.  We have homes, relationships, jobs, and many of the things we want.   We have everything we need because of the program of AA …… so there’s your evidence.

We are undisciplined so we need to let God discipline us in a simple way.  You might ask "How do you do tha?" It is done by the simple routine of:

• getting up in the morning and reading the morning meditation
• saying "Thy Will (not mine) Be Done" constantly throughout the day
• helping a newcomer or talking with another alcoholic who is going through a hard time
• maybe even getting to a detox center to help someone there
• going to a meeting
  
• reading a chapter out of the book
  
• doing a Ten Step inventory at nigh

Faith without works is dead.

"A little less talk and a lot more action," I tell my sponsees. "Don’t tell me what you are going to do... do it and I will see it in your actions. I will know how willing you are my the action you take."

Simple but not easy, a price has to be paid. (Page 14 of The Big Book).

- Gina F